could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
