Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
