It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
