is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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