He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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