Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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