I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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