We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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