Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize
