Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
