Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
