how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Randomize
