Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
