I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
