I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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