they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Help. Why am I so naked?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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