omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
