forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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