It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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