Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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