I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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