what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
