she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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