the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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