i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
