she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
