The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
so that wasnt chicken after all
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
