i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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