i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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