dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
