The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
