I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
