where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
