ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
