clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
