Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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