Betty ford says i'm here all night
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
