And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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