I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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