I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I'd cum for enchiladas.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
