...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
