The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
My ass is underappreciated
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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