Whod you bang
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
