So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
he wants to bone in the snuggie
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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