I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize