I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
