The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
