i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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