if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
The police scanner is talking about you again....
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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