What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
