I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
