Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Nobody cheats on THIS.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
