i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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