Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
