somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize