I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
