The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
