She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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