Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Still dying that you shit outside
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
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