So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I love you.
Bad choice
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
