Nicole vs. Life
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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