Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Welp...herpes.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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