Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
