nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
