great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
