I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
