Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
