420 ftw
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
