Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
