I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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