Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
