You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
