i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
