I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
