girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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