Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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